about the gazillioonnth time ive attempted to keep a blog going, fingers are crosseddd. i need to keep something consistent. i have several things that i want to talk about but there are just too few ways to suddenly go into my trials and tribulations on a first post. i figure that you too have your own problems to care at all about mine, but spare a moment of your time and you can try.
i think theres a point in your life where you realise how ordinary you are, and from that moment on you try as hard as you can to convince yourself otherwise through shitty materialistic means. unaware that nobody really gives a shit as theyre too busy going through this phase with you. you go out and buy new clothes and shoes, try fit into new trends, take on different perspectives, listen to new music, pretend you know about politics. then i stop and wonder when in the fuck was the last time that ive done something for myself. why do i have the walk down the road with my eyes at my feet, stop and tell myself that if i walk with my eyes toward the ground that i have low self esteem. so i take a deep breath and broaden my shoulders and stare in the eyes of everybody that passes me. maybe one day ill stop giving a shit, until that day ill walk down the streets and stairs wondering what ever happened to those days that never existed. self pity is an awful thing
